The stigma of taking care of yourself, while still being able to take care of others is no more. The behavioral health of parents, caregivers, and children is more in the spotlight than it ever has before. Our LifeScape psychologists are here to help. They’ve put together a few articles with information that can help in times of stress.
When we think of providing the basic needs of our children, we generally think of food, shelter, and clothing. It is also important to remember basic psychological needs. Kids need to feel loved and valued for who they are. They need to experience a consistent sense of physical and emotional safety. They also need to feel a sense of belonging and connection within their families and social circles.
Our children navigate a variety of settings every day—as family members, students, and friends. Some are also members of clubs, organizations, and sports teams. Each setting poses different role expectations, influences, pressures, and sources of fulfillment. We hope that each environment builds them up, but we can’t guarantee our children will always feel safe, loved, and connected the way we’d like.
The outside world has more access to our children than ever before. Even in the loving, consistent, and safe environments we’ve created in our homes, their exposure to harmful outside influences is only a Snapchat or text message away.
Here are some ways to help your child be psychologically healthy:
If you notice that your child is struggling, it is okay to reach out for help. Psychology services can provide a safe place for you and your child to explore difficulties going on at home, in school, or in other important areas of life, and to develop effective strategies to address these difficulties. Our children need to feel loved, connected, safe, and empowered to effectively navigate what comes their way.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
Ever notice at the end of a busy day it seems like all you’ve said to your children is “no, stop, don’t do that….” We’ve all been there. We naturally focus on the negative and work to correct it while not recognizing positive behavior. Try spending a day shifting your focus to what your children are doing well and then tell them about it! “Thank you for unloading the dishwasher!” “You were so kind to share with your brother!” “Your hugs make my heart happy!” “You worked so hard on that school project!” By the end of the day your kids will feel more motivated to engage in positive behavior, you’ll feel uplifted and view your kids in a more positive light, and the atmosphere at home will be lighter.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
Attending a birthday party can be a wonderful and exciting time for children, but it can also be stressful when it comes to appropriate behaviors and social skills. In an effort to help your child be successful when they attend a birthday party, here are some useful suggestions:
Review basic manners: “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.” Discuss with your child times when they might use these manners and role play scenarios as needed. For example: “May I please have a glass of juice?” “Thank you for the piece of cake.” “You’re welcome for the gift.” “Thank you for inviting me to the party.”
Review basic manners related to politely declining something they do not like or want: “No thank you, I don’t want any ice cream” versus “I hate that flavor of ice cream”.
Discuss how this is the friend’s special day. We tell the friend happy birthday and help them feel special. Our friend gets attention and presents, not the guests. We let our friend open their own gifts and decide on the activities for the party.
Discuss when we’re invited to a party we participate in the party activities. We join in the games, watch the friend open presents, and eat cake with the other guests.
For a child who tends to feel anxious, identify an adult who they could talk to or ask a question of, if they are uncertain about something during the party.
Make sure to involve your child in picking out and wrapping the friend’s gift and making a card. Also let the child pick out, or help pick out, his or her party outfit. This gives them a sense of ownership and investment in the occasion and helps them to feel excited about the party.
Discuss when the party is over we thank our friend for inviting us to the party and wish them a happy birthday.
As your child prepares for an upcoming party, you can role play certain aspects of the party, especially if your child struggles with any particular activity or skill. For example, practice sitting at an appropriate distance while someone else opens a present. Or declining a food item they do not enjoy. And remember to praise your child for a job well done after the party!
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
Many of us grow up with a sibling. Research in the last few decades has demonstrated the importance of sibling relationships for a child’s development and social skills. It is through sibling relationships that children first start to develop social skills. They provide opportunities for children to practice and hone play, communication, and emotion regulation skills.
Moreover, research has established a link between sibling relationships and psychological adjustment. Being a sibling of a child with a developmental disability can affect children and the sibling relationship both negatively and positively. When children are unable to communicate effectively, have behavioral concerns, or are aggressive towards siblings, it is difficult to build and maintain a positive sibling relationship. When siblings are unable to play cooperatively, talk to each other, or have positive interactions they often have higher levels of conflict in their relationships. This conflict can lead the siblings, especially the typically developing sibling, feeling sad, frustrated, or mad.
It is important for parents to be aware of how their children are interacting so they can intervene early to improve the quality of the sibling relationship. Organized/supervised play time, family outings or sibling dates, educating children about their sibling’s disability, and psychotherapy can all be helpful interventions.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
It’s called the sandwich generation—those who are raising their own children while providing varying levels of care for aging parents. As if the never-ending carousel ride of kids’ activities and providing for basic needs isn’t stressful enough, many parents of young children are also providing support for parents with temporary or chronic health issues.
Reclaiming peace and order for your own life is critical. Here are some tips to help you learn how to handle the obstacles and difficulties that arise, along with letting go of some of the guilt, stress, and other energy-draining emotions that pull you down and make you feel defeated and exhausted.
Recognize when your child may (and likely will) act out. They may feel anxious about what’s going on within the family, sad about the changes their grandparents/relatives are experiencing, feeling ignored because your attention is elsewhere, or scared of what’s going to happen. Recognizing that the household stress is the core of their behavior is the first step toward managing that behavior.
Evaluate the situation. Is it really a crisis? If not, take a deep breath and prioritize the tasks at hand. Don’t be afraid to make yourself a priority on occasion too!
Let go of the guilt. Start each day fresh and know that everything you do today is important and matters, even if it feels you did not scratch off enough tasks from the to-do list. Identify where other members of your family and support system can help - children and parents included! All kids can help in some way. Helping others makes us feel needed and wanted—and that we matter.
Let others help: Say “yes” to offers of help. Don’t assume family members aren’t able or willing to pitch in—ask directly and specifically for what you’d like them to do. Check at your child’s school. School social workers and guidance counselors can be a good resource for finding assistance and services for your child and family. Try reaching out—what’s the worst that could happen? Don’t forget your faith community, social media contacts, etc.
Take a look at what you can let go of. If you’re over-committed, you probably aren’t serving your obligations all that well anyway. Relax your standards—perhaps only temporarily—regarding cooking, cleaning, and other household chores. Your family probably won’t even notice.
Respite: You NEED to take time for yourself to recharge your own batteries. Get together for coffee with a friend, hit the gym, or enjoy some pampering. Check with home health agencies for respite programs. Colleges and universities are another great place to find young people that want work experiences that will prepare them for their future career. Check with pre-med, nursing, or therapy students to provide occasional respite care for your children or parents.
Enjoy activities together--many can be multi-generational: Going to the zoo, taking neighborhood or nature walks, bowling, doing an instructor-led painting activity, taking cooking classes, doing puzzles, having board game nights, or gardening.
As they say, you can’t fill someone else’s cup if your own is empty. Taking care of yourself first can help you pace your way through the most challenging of times.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
As parents, we spend a great deal of time predicting dangers, teaching our children to be cautious and aware of their surroundings. Even when we do everything right, accidents can, and still do happen.
Parenting a child who has just been through a traumatic event can feel like finding your way through a dark, unfamiliar building. Once the crisis stage has passed, we need to wrap our mind around our reality.
This may include a change in physical abilities, or a change in the child’s ability to take care of themselves or to communicate. A critical task in this stage is to comprehend how the child’s identity has changed. Does he love sports and need to use a wheelchair or crutches for a period of time? A child is entitled to grieve the loss of his or her identity, even if it is temporary, and they should have the opportunity to work through those stages of grief.
Parents also go through a grieving process for that change in identity, and may struggle with feelings of gratitude, anger, and helplessness, among others. How much of our communication revolves around our children’s interests and activities? Parents may suddenly question how to talk to their child, or even what to talk about. How a parent connects with their child may need to change. The content of conversations will change, but also how we connect, dependent upon changes in speech/language abilities, cognitive changes, etc.
One of the biggest challenges to a parent lies with talking about the traumatic event itself. Avoiding the topic can invalidate what has happened. The event may feel scary to the child, but avoiding it all together can make the fear worse. On the other hand, don’t center all conversations around the event. Follow the child’s lead. Talk at their pace, and validate what they are feeling.
Don’t forget that parents need support too. Ask medical or mental health professionals about support groups, or to be connected with parents that have had the same experiences. Social media is a great resource to connect with families locally or globally.
The road through recovery is different for each person. Determination, anxiety, despair, and defeat are all normal and will rotate and repeat through their rehabilitation. Help your child find the motivation to work through those feelings and to find meaning that they can pull from their experience. Remember that recovery is a fluid process. With support from you, their family, friends, and medical professionals, they will soon redefine who they are, who they want to be, and how to manage the challenges they encounter along the way.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
All parents feel overextended at times, but the hustle and bustle of the holidays, and especially coming off the holidays, can really highlight a parent’s exhaustion. It is important to recognize when you are feeling overwhelmed and stretched to the limit, and what you might do to help get yourself back on track. If left unattended, ongoing fatigue and exhaustion can lead to health issues and feelings of despair. Don’t delay, self-care is not selfish! You can’t keep going and care for others if you aren’t well yourself.
Reclaiming order in your own life is critical. Here are some tips to help you navigate the obstacles and difficulties that arise, along with letting go of the guilt, stress and other energy-draining emotions which pull you down and make you feel exhausted.
Evaluate and prioritize: Take a deep breath and prioritize the tasks at hand. Does this need to be done right now or can it wait? What can be delegated to someone else? Have you over committed and need to scale back? Create boundaries where you can say “no” when you want/need. Many times, you can relax your standards, others won’t know what did not get done.
Let others help: Say “yes” to offers of help. Don’t assume others aren’t willing to pitch in. Ask directly and specifically for what you’d like them to do. Try reaching out, what’s the worst that could happen? Surround yourself with people who support you.
Let go of the guilt: Start each day fresh and know everything you do today is important and matters, even if it feels you did not check off enough tasks from the to-do list.
Respite: You NEED to take time for yourself to recharge your own batteries. Get together for coffee with a friend or enjoy some pampering. Sometimes you need to get creative when it comes to “me time”. Consider ways you can get time for yourself such as listening to an audio book when running errands or folding laundry.
Attend to your physical health: Pay attention to what you are eating, avoid the junk and eat healthy foods. Drink plenty of water, it aids in alertness and general energy. Get regular exercise, even 20 minutes a day can make a huge difference in how you feel. Pay attention to what your body is telling you, if you need rest, find a way to get some rest.
Let others around you know that you’re seeking a balance of self-care. Investing in yourself can make a real difference for you and those you love.
To learn more about our Behavioral Health services click here or call us for details: in Sioux Falls, (605) 444-9700. In Rapid City, (605) 791-7400.
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